Home
by WildYennifer
Summary: "Home isn't always a place. It can be a person". Elena's thoughts of her home make her discover where she belongs. How is she going to deal with what she can't deny anymore? Post 3x11-3x12. Complete.
1. Where You Belong

_**A/N: The story developed from the quotation that I suddenly recalled and which you can see right below. At first it was meant to be just eventless&plotless musing about Elena and her home, but sometimes my stories don't behave and take their own direction :D And I'm quite glad with the direction this one "chose" - Elena acting on emotions is usually nice :) Since this story is already not the way I planned - I'm open to your constructive criticism and perhaps even suggestions - though it's initially meant to be one-shot. Have a nice reading and thanks for stopping by :)**_

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><p><em><strong>"Home isn't always a place. It can be a person"<strong>_ ("Xena, the Warrios Princess")

She didn't know where her home was anymore.

These thougts had been occupying her mind since Jeremy's departure. The notion of home. Home is what you believe to be your place in life. Home is where you belong.

The easiest answer was "Mystic Falls". Elena had spent her entire life here. Here she'd had her first breath, first step, first kiss. Here she'd fallen in love, and here she'd had her heart broken. Here she'd learned to forgive and to trust. However, Elena couldn't call the town home. Not after it took so many people away from her. Not after everything she'd had to face. If she considered it home, she'd probably go insane. She'd learned to consider it nothing more than a place which suffered only because she lived there and paid her with just as much pain.

Her house barely felt like home. It hurt her to stay there now. Her parents and Jenna who she'd lost hadn't really disappeared – they lived in her memories, filling her with sorrow and guilt. Now that Jeremy had left as well, the building lost the last traces of what could make her feel like home. Happy and unhappy days mixed in her mind, especially those of the last year. How Stefan would come and make her heart leap with joy. How he nearly failed to restrain himself for the first time and lied about human blood. How she found herself standing in her room with her necklace around her neck and a faintly familiar scent of cologne in the air…

Stefan was also someone she used to consider her home. He was cozy and familiar, like an old pillow that feels so natural you don't even know what you would do without it. "Used to" was the key point. Not after that autumn.

The autumn had been crazy. Looking for someone who didn't want to be found, fighting for someone who wasn't worth the fight, pining away for someone who'd just risked her life and hurt her in the worst way she could think of. In such a way that she actually hadn't ever thought he could be like this.

Elena could forgive him for the hurt under compulsion. She could forgive him for leaving when he'd been freed from compulsion: she understood he must've been confused. She even could forgive him for not caring for Jeremy's destiny, but that's where her patience was up. It was enough.

Now that he'd made one of her worst nightmares come true, Elena just refused to deal with it. He had taken away everything she'd been holding on to – the gratitude for saving her from the car accident, the knowledge he would never take the choice away from her, the loyalty she had learned to use as an excuse even in her mind – and replaced it all with crashing fear that she'd never felt before. She could expect Isobel, Katherine or Klaus to do something like that. But not Stefan.

Was there not a single person who could be her home unconditionally? Without any dependence on either supernatural or human problems?

Elena stood up as if something dawned upon her. She grabbed her bag and keys. Nearly running to her car, Elena got inside, started it and sped in a very familiar direction. It didn't take her much time to reach her destination – she knew the way so well she could probably drive with her eyes closed.

She didn't even think of knocking at first – it surprised her pleasantly when she realized it. He wasn't in the parlor, and she couldn't be more okay with that. He would be difficult while drinking. Elena didn't want him to be difficult – not now, she begged quietly.

She walked upstairs, knowing very well that he could probably hear her every step and maybe even every breath. She hung her jacket on the railing on the way. Elena hesitated for a moment before crossing the corridor and stopping right in front of the door. This was a one-way ticket. Every time she'd been in this room something life-changing had happened. She had more than enough reasons to have second thoughts – she just didn't want to think of those reasons.

Taking a deep breath, Elena opened the door.

He was lying on the bed, having only a blanket to cover his body below waist. He was staring at the ceiling, but in a moment he averted his eyes from it and looked at her.

"Elena" he acknowledged her presence.

"Damon… Hey"

She was very aware that he could hear not just her words, but also her wild pulse and ragged breathing. Using all the courage she'd been able to muster, she came up to him and sat down on the side of the bed that he wasn't occupying.

"As much as I'm enjoying the sight…" he trailed off suggestively as she realized all of a sudden that she was still wearing her PJ's, and that definitely wasn't the most decent set. "… what are you doing here?"

Elena didn't answer at all. She just lay down and made herself comfortable. She could clearly see surprise through his usual smirk. Then he sounded worried.

"Are you fine? Is there anything you need?"

She opened her mouth to say something, but she still couldn't bring herself to utter a single word. Instead, Elena reached out to the bedside table and switched off the stand lamp. She shifted closer to him, laid her head on his shoulder and her palm somehow ended up on his chest. He didn't say anything else, she could only feel him stiffen for a brief moment and then relax, as he wrapped his arm around her body.

"Home" she finally answered his question. "I need to feel home" she repeated before closing her eyes and soon drifting off, listening to the quiet sound of his breathing.

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><p><em><strong>You know what to do with that cute blue button below, right? <strong>_

_**And the last thing I want to tell you - thanks to everyone who read/is going to read or reviewed/is going to review any of my stories. Thanks also for all the faves. It is very important for me that someone likes my work! **_

_**Yen.**_


	2. Coffee

**A/N: **_Here comes the second chapter – my fave morning-after thing. It gives some "hope" for continuation I suppose, and I do have several ideas, but I'm still not sure where this story is going – so if you have any ideas that don't require M rating (I'm not good at writing smut :D), please, tell me – via reviews or PM. I generally try to PM every reviewer, but these days it's crazy at uni and with the Internet (sorry!), so I'll express my gratitude here:_

_Thank you, **ItWasYouAlwaysYou, LilleMy4444, Karolina94, helenamtavares, peygan, sandy salvator **and **JustJane**, for your reviews. Another special thanks goes to **Last Maradeur of Five** and **Brynndabella** for detailed reviews :)_

_Of course, many thanks to those who reviewed my other stories + those who added my stories to faves or story alert. It's so inspiring! _

_My most special 'danke sch__ön__' goes to _**Stef !**_ You know how much it means to me that you read my stories, and moreover give detailed reviews_**. **

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><p>Waking up took her uncharacteristically long.<p>

The first thing that prompted her she wasn't sleeping anymore was the sense of touch. She felt the warmth beneath her hand and cheek disappear, and understood Damon had gone somewhere. Then she heard whooshing sounds that also ceased and returned in a minute. Another moment and she felt denim brushing against her knee as he returned to the bed, now semi-dressed. Elena didn't want to get up and face whatever challenges of the day yet. She resumed her previous position on Damon's shoulder, pretending to be deeply asleep. She felt him kiss her hair and murmur softly against it:

"I know you're awake"

Elena sighed and pushed away the thought of feeling embarrassed. He definitely remembered how she'd appeared the previous night, she could as well indulge in staying with him a little longer now.

"How do you know?" she answered in a whisper, without opening her eyes or shifting.

"The rhythm of your heartbeat and breathing" he said, caressing her arm. "For example, now they're both speeding up"

That made up Elena's mind and she sat up immediately, avoiding with surprising grace any undesirable ('really?' she thought) awkward touches. He got out of the bed with a sigh and came up to his wardrobe.

"I grabbed your bag from the car… Hope you don't mind?" Damon asked, pointing at it, for some reason with the trademark smirk on his face. Of course he would know that she'd already started always taking clothes and toiletry in her car just in case.

Elena was feeling too good to bicker about his jokes.

"Thanks"

"No problem" his smirk transformed into a slight smile as he put on one of his numerous black shirts and started buttoning it up. "I'll go to the kitchen and make breakfast. What would you like?"

Elena lifted an eyebrow.

"You're making me breakfast now?"

She was trying to make him feel confused – may he get a taste of his own medicine, she thought. Damon seemed to remain unimpressed

"Why not? I could also iron your dress and make you a sandwich for lunch break. And tell me at what hour your classes finish. I'll pick you up from school. I also think I haven't talked to your teachers for quite a while…"

Elena rolled her eyes but chuckled. Trust Damon to find hilarity even in her school life.

"No time for breakfast, sorry" she said catching regret in her voice. "I don't have time for it if I don't wanna be late"

"Okay, but will you at least have a drink with me? Coffee, I mean just coffee" he said before she had a chance to refuse.

"Coffee would be great" she said, smiling. "I thought you'd already had coffee today"

Now she was able to surprise him.

"How do you know?"

Elena had to restrain not to bite her bottom lip as she usually did.

"You were warm" she answered, dropped her gaze for a moment, and then walked to the bathroom.

She showered as thoroughly as she could, smelling Damon's scent on her own skin. Elena didn't mind it at all, but she reminded herself that she had some other supernatural beings apart from him around daily and they would probably get suspicious. And she couldn't even blame them.

Clean, fresh and dressed, Elena walked downstairs to the parlor. A mug was already waiting for her on the table, latte with sugar and vanilla, just how she liked it. Damon was sitting on the couch and holding a mug of black coffee, clearly not bothered by its heat. She sat beside him and started her latte, glad that it wasn't as hot as his.

"About what you said yesterday…"

Elena had hoped all this time he wouldn't bring up the topic. She'd also known the hope would be in vain.

"Yeah?"

"You said you wanted to feel like home… I understand why. I just didn't realize you'd grown so attached to… this house"

"It's not about the house, Damon"

They both knew it and Elena could see that he needed not a correction but a confirmation of what he really thought.

"I'm glad you came"

It was something Elena thought she'd never get used to about him. The way he could be completely open with her about his feelings… and the way she could feel very natural sitting with him on the couch and discussing her sleepover.

"So am I" she replied, refusing to mar this perfect moment of honesty with sneaking. She finished her coffee and stood up, taking her bag. "Bye, Damon"

She knew perfectly well that she just liked saying his name. She liked how it felt to pronounce it over and over.

"Elena?"

She stopped at the door and turned around, facing him with an uncertain smile.

"Will you come again tonight?"

His voice didn't have a single trace of laughter anymore – it was serious, caring… tempting in a way. She thought he sounded hopeful – and it must have been exactly what they both felt at the moment.

"Do you want me to?" she asked quietly, knowing he'd hear anyway. The smile had disappeared, affected by the tension in the atmosphere. Not the sort of tension one wanted to escape from.

"Yes" he exhaled, and that sound nearly made Elena drop her bag and run back to where he was waiting – always waiting – for her. Instead, she took a shaky breath and answered:

"I will"

She closed the front door, fighting the unexpectedly strong need to come back. Sighing, Elena tossed her bag into the car and got inside to start the longest school day in her life.

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><p>AN again: if you're reading this, it means you've read the second chapter – thank you! Liked it? Improvements needed? Just want to tell me 'hi'? :D You know what to do with the blue button below ;)


	3. His Waiting Arms

A/N thanks everyone for reviews, alerts and faves again :) Thanks to Nymphadora, PhoebeTheQueenOfDragons, DPrincess, Karolina94, ItWasYouAlwaysYou, Polia, A Reflection Like An Echo for reviewing chapter two ;) Stef, you know you're the best ;)

This chapter isn't very romantic, as I needed something to connect the following one I have in my mind. I just thought - how is this gonna look, evening/morning/evening/morning? Won't be fun to read with more chapters :D I'm also trying to keep this story as little AU as possible, i.e. go along with what's happening in the show. Just so you know guys :) Thanks again and I hope you enjoy this chapter anyway ;)

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><p>You cover my sun in heaven,<p>

Your palm hides my every star,

I wish I could burst through entrance

And rush to your waiting arms.

I'd prattle, I'd blush, you'd frown,

I'd shyly avert my face,

And, sobbing, I would calm down –

Like back in my childhood days.

Marina Tsvetayeva, 1916 (translation by _WildYennifer_)

_Damon's POV_

The car engine made me worry. Given our track record, her arrival probably meant that something had happened. I could bet the "something" wasn't connected with cooking chili or working out together. Not that I'd have minded.

Her footsteps and heartbeat almost made me fear. She was obviously nervous. Her heart sounded so hurt and vulnerable I felt a dire need to comfort her. When she was walking upstairs I could only think about wrapping my arms around her. There was another thought as well though, almost as strong as the first one: a very strong desire to snap the neck of whoever upset her.

And then she appeared in the doorway, looking ridiculously cute and dangerously hot in her red tank top and matching shorts. I was happy to be an undead rather than living creature: if I were human, the way she took my breath away would have probably killed me.

Of course, I didn't tell that to her.

I was my usual naughty self throwing remarks at her, hoping to take her mind off whatever bothered her. She just lay down by my side, and that truly worried me. Perhaps she was unaware of a very solemn expression on her face.

It took me quite a while to get that if anything bothered her at that moment, it was me.

When she was falling asleep, the skin of her cheek burning my shoulder, I couldn't form a coherent thought. My mind was full of just one simple fact: she'd come to me. There, seeing in awe how perfect she was in every way, I was even less likely to believe she wanted me with her.

I had a very good idea about my numerous assets. I knew how charming I could be when I wanted or rather needed to – and very few women could resist me. Elena had always been one of those few exceptions.

In my long existence many women came to me – looking for fun, entertainment, distraction from their boring lives. None had ever come to me to find home.

Not that I would ever offer it to anyone.

I'd do whatever she needed me to do. I'd be whatever she needed me to be. Nothing could ever matter more to me than she did. Nothing.

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><p>"Elena?"<p>

She jumped in her seat, startled, and looked at Bonnie.

"What?"

"Well, I don't know if it's important, and most probably it's not, but the class is over, so I figured you might wanna have a break like normal people"

Elena was furious with herself. Could she act any more foolishly? Replaying the previous night and morning in her head _in a class_, with her observant best friend beside her and her kind of father figure Alaric at the board.

"I'm sorry, Bonnie… I just had a lot on my mind"

"Do you have a minute?" asked Ric, coming up.

"Erm… sure" Elena tried to fake a smile.

"I'll just wait outside" said Bonnie, who clearly didn't want to witness what seemed to be an uneasy conversation.

Elena leaned against a desk in the first row.

"What's wrong?"

Ric was fidgeting for some time. He clearly felt uncomfortable about whatever he was going to say.

"Elena, I know it's probably not my business, but … I feel like I'm responsible for you, so I have to ask" he let himself look at her face for a brief moment and then looked away again. "Where did you spend the night?"

Now it was Elena's turn to fidget.

"In Damon's house"

She didn't say "the boarding house" or "the Salvatore mansion", and it all became clear to Alaric. And yet more awkward to discuss.

"Ugh… well… I mean, just… if you plan on sleeping over again… just warn me in advance, okay? If you don't mind"

Elena found his bashfulness sweet. Poor Alaric – he had to take care of her, being not even her relative in any way and always fearing he would cross the line after which she'd find his guidance annoying.

"Okay" she smiled. "Warning you now. I'm going there again tonight"

"I knew it was leading there" Alaric muttered under his breath, and Elena suddenly understood he could get the idea in a very wrong way.

"No, no, Ric, we're not… together"

"So you're friends?"

Elena didn't answer immediately. She gave it some thought. If she just said "yes", that would be very wrong. Much more wrong than his initial idea.

"We've been friends for a long time… But now… I honestly don't know, Ric"

She was surprised that Alaric actually smiled.

"Elena, I've already told you you're the strongest person I know. You'll figure it out"

She grinned, obviously glad to hear that. She could hardly expect many people to approve of what she was doing, and Alaric's support was unexpectedly welcome.

"I'm coming, Bonnie!" Elena said, raising her voice so that the witch would hear her. Putting the notebook into her bag, Elena saw a rectangular piece of paper fall out of it. She picked it up and turned over. The note in a neat handwriting said:

"_Last night I got to hold the heaven in my arms. In the morning I was cruelly deprived of this privilege and __I demand it back"_

"What is this grin about, Elena?" asked Bonnie, suspicious, when her friend went out of the classroom.

"Nothing" the grin wouldn't go off and Bonnie decided to let it go, because for the first time in so long Elena looked actually … happy.

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><p>Please, do let me know what you think even if it's a word or two ;) If you should have any questions or suggestions, I'm always here for you :) Love, WY<p> 


	4. Conscious and Subconscious

_**A/N**: Hello everyone :) I'm happy to have uploaded chapter 4, coz first university issues and then the annoying absence of the Internet prevented me from doing so :( My phone helped me out with PM's, but no uploading possible of course. _

_The first thing, as usual, is my endless gratitude to those who read, those who also subscribe and fave, and especially to those who review :) The reviewers of chapter 3, i.e. Karolina94, cherrycoloredlilies, ItWasYouAlwaysYou, Talon99, Nymphadora, LilleMy4444 – thank you so much! Those who are writers know that reviews are a huge part of what keeps us going ;) _

_And as for this chapter: I decided to add a bit of humour, because as awesome as romantic Damon is, he's got sarcasm in his blood and one-liners always prepared – I hope I gave his sense of humour enough credit :D His romantic mode will return in the chapter as well, no worries._

_As a reward for waiting you get a chapter twice as long as the previous ones._

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><p>"I'm tired of feeling so alone<p>

Coz you won't let me understand

I don't wanna pretend, I wanna feel, I want to love"

Evanescence "Say You Will"

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><p>"<em>How much longer?"<em>

Elena ignored Bonnie's weird glance answering the nineteenth text she'd received within the last half an hour, five of them with the same question. The class was boring, a lecture in Biology, a science she didn't trust much anymore. The teacher hardly seemed to be paying more attention than the students.

"_Not much :) B patient"_

"_What we gonna do? ;)"_

She blushed slightly as she pictured Damon's real wink and the way he'd say the words, a hundred of undertones and hidden meanings creating vivid images in her mind.

She chose a seemingly safe variant.

"_A movie"_

It took his answer longer to arrive than it had the previous ones and Elena found herself getting anxious.

"_If u like Twilight not gonna talk 2 u ever. U have a so much more real&better thing"_

Of course, Elena scoffed, what a day without Damon's accolade on himself.

"_Dunno, u don't break stones to powder"_

"_Means I don't have to b afraid of breakin u whatever happens"_

Elena's blush got much more prominent. He was playing with her, she knew it very well, but as usual, she couldn't come up with a nice reply fast enough.

"_Ur movie choice?"_she asked instead of trying to oversmart him.

"_Jane Eyre"_

Elena was surprised. She knew Damon liked that type of literature as much as she did, but it also meant a lot to her that he'd chosen her favorite movie… He must have remembered a lot about her.

"_K. Cya later"_

The lesson was over and this time she paid attention – she wanted it to finish as soon as possible.

"I suppose I still don't get any answers?" Bonnie looked already slightly annoyed rather than amused.

"Can I … Can I just give you the answers some other time?"

"Sure" said Bonnie. "You look like you're about to explode"

And Elena'd thought she was good at hiding.

"I'll call Sheriff Forbes" she changed the topic. "I'll ask her to try to find your mom. I mean, she must have all those name databases or some access to them"

"Thanks, Elena, really"

"You're in this mess because of me. Don't even start thanking me" her friend answered.

Elena got into the car, called Liz and asked if she could help to find an Abby Bennet within the country. Sheriff Forbes warned her honestly that although she could help, the results would probably take a lot of time to deal with. After the conversation with Liz Elena texted Damon.

"_I'll go home, take a shower and change_"

"_Need help?_"

Elena rolled her eyes but giggled.

"_I think I'm good_"

"_I'm not_"

Before she could answer she received another message.

"_I thought my shower was the best_"

"_I'll give it some thought. Cya_" she ended the conversation and drove to her house.

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><p><em>Damon's POV<em>

This was going to be a very special evening.

The first time she'd come into my house, my room and my bed she'd been acting impulsively. She'd let the emotions guide her, and I couldn't have been happier about what they acknowledged. Or at least hinted.

This time it was an entirely different story. It was an arrangement. She'd agreed to come again, consciously and willingly. May she look at Charlotte Gainsbourg and William Hurt as much as she wants.

I knew I wouldn't be able to look away from her throughout the evening.

I put the disc in the player and carefully laid the book in the corner of the couch. She adored it as much as I did. I tried to recall how come that a dangerous vampire like me had grown to like a mixture of drama, tragedy and love story. The book was about a young girl with a bright mind and a pure soul falling in love with a seemingly nasty, moody and, as it appeared to everyone else, careless man with hardly any emotions. About how nothing he ever did pushed her away completely, how nothing that happened to him ever made her give up.

My devotion to this book didn't seem so weird anymore.

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><p>Refreshed and spruced up, with a bag containing her pajamas and clothes for the following day, Elena got in the car and set off. She found herself driving very quickly, barely below the speed limit. The anxiety of the day was affecting her, and she felt that any more waiting would eventually make her incapable of resisting him.<p>

The house was finally ahead of her, tempting her with dim light coming from the parlor where she knew he was already waiting. Elena pulled over and took a deep breath before getting out of the car and walking to the front door, the determined look obvious on her face and her heart pounding so loudly that even she could hear it.

Which was one of the reasons why it didn't surprise her that Damon opened the door before she had a chance to knock.

"Elena" he said instead of greeting as usual.

She didn't answer, just smiled and then walked past him, allowing him to get the door on his own.

Elena sat down on the couch and Damon followed after grabbing the remote control. She felt him wrap his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. Elena didn't dither a moment and leaned into Damon, letting all her fears and doubts melt in his arms.

Damon started the movie and they watched in a comfortable silence. It didn't take Elena's eyes long to start getting watery – she hated it, but this movie'd always made her cry. She let out a ragged breath and Damon seemed to guess what she was feeling.

"Are you crying?"

"Not yet" she said in a shaky voice. "Stupid, isn't it? Purely idiotic. To have so much drama in my own life and feel like crying over the fate of a fictional character"

"Elena…" Damon lifted his hand from her arm to her face and she trembled as his knuckles caressed her cheek. "Don't tell me that after all we've been through you're ashamed of crying in my presence"

She smiled through the first tears and kept following the storyline. Damon's hand never left her cheek as she started sobbing, and when another caress was dangerously close to her lips, Elena turned her head slightly and kissed one of the knuckles that had just been stroking her cheek. She felt him stop moving and even breathing, and she could hardly breathe as well. It wasn't exactly reassuring to have so little control over her own body, she thought, turning her face and eyes back to the screen.

They went on watching, sharing occasional comments on the events they both knew so well. The movie was too long for modern standards, but neither of them felt the necessity or desire to move. Elena cried several times, always ending up comforted by Damon – his palm caressing her hair, his lips a mere inch away from her ear whispering something about the happy ending of the story. She would just have to deal with it, Elena thought – to deal with the fact that he knew another weakness of hers than nobody else in the world was entitled to witness. It would just have to add to the long list of those.

Elena sighed contentedly when the movie was over.

"Jane loved so much that despite her own lack of faith she didn't ever give up on him – not in her soul, anyway" she commented.

"There was only one thing that existed for him in the world, the one thing that truly mattered – and it was her. He would give up on everything else if it meant having her to himself for eternity"

Damon's choice of words sent shivers down Elena's spine.

"Anything you like from the book?" she asked, knowing he had put the book on the couch as well with some hidden purpose. It wasn't the first time they discussed literature, and she was so happy to do it – not just because it was always fun to argue with him about relative morals, but because it was their own private piece of "normal".

"Sure"

She shifted away from him, already frightened of the signs her body's reaction could be giving. He reached out for the book and started looking through the pages.

It didn't take Damon long to find the right paragraph.

"_Again and again he said, "Are you happy, Jane?" And again and again I answered, "Yes." After which he murmured, "It will atone – it will atone. Have I not found her friendless, and cold, and comfortless? Will I not guard, and cherish, and solace her? Is there not love in my heart, and constancy in my resolves? It will expiate at God's tribunal. I know my Maker sanctions what I do. From the world's judgment – I wash my hands thereof. For man's opinion – I defy it"_

The words that belonged to a happy man whose beloved had just agreed to marry him pierced Elena's heart there and then. They conveyed more love and affection than she could imagine. Silently taking the book from his hands, she settled her head on his shoulder, turned over a couple of pages, and after that she read:

"_Come and bid me good-morning," said he. I gladly advanced; and it was not merely a cold word now, or even a shake of the hand that I received, but an embrace and a kiss. It seemed natural: it seemed genial to be so well loved, so caressed by him"_

She knew the message'd just been sent, loud and clear. Her choice was as far from random as his – the extracts picked so carefully that they could as well confess what they felt directly. Damon could do that, but Elena didn't feel the strength to make herself admit. It was easier to let Jane tell what her heart'd been arguing about all along. The paragraph wasn't a confession yet, but it was full of hope – and it signified full acceptance. It meant she welcomed and appreciated him, at the very least.

She'd said it wasn't right, but now, on the contrary, she felt that there was not a single thing more natural in the world for her than being loved by Damon Salvatore.

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><p><em><strong>AN**: Okay, I've already started working on chapter 5, and if you're reading this, you surely know that there's a button under the text adding to my inspiration ;) Do use it, please! _


	5. Normalcy with a Spice

_**A/N: I really wanted to update yesterday, but while all the lovely reviews keep me going (thanks so much to xoxo-Nina-xoxo for reviewing and supporting me in PM, and to ItWasYouAlwaysYou, Nymphadora, LilleMy4444 and Karolina94 for multiple reviews), my Internet may have different ideas of whether to work or not – which is why I had to postpone the update.**_

_**What to expect from this chapter: a little bolder Elena and a nice (hope so!) evening scene.**_

_**What to expect from me: working on the update of this story (based on 3x12) right now. **_

_**Thanks for alerting and adding to favorites as well! If you also write, you do know how awesome it is.**_

_**The inspiration comes from the beginning of 3x04: I love those scenes when Damon and Elena are so comfortable around each other.**_

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><p>Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. ~ Mary Jean Irion<p>

Normal is in the eye of the beholder. ~ Whoopi Goldberg

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><p><em>Damon's POV<em>

The paragraph she chose was close to shattering the last bits of self-control I was holding on to. It completed the moment, filling my heart with nothing but affection. I couldn't afford to be passionate, couldn't afford to push her. As much as I wanted, needed to feel her lips on mine, I had to find something to keep me from crossing the line we'd been dancing on for longer than it was possible to stand.

That's why when she slipped out of my arms, giving me a slight smile that I worshiped, and headed for the bathroom, I couldn't be more grateful for the moment I had to deal with what I was feeling. I'd always believed there couldn't be a love more powerful than mine for her – passionate and unconditional.

Yet, every moment we shared made me fall for her deeper than before.

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><p>Elena couldn't begin to thank Damon for letting her off the hook, since when she returned to him in a few minutes, he was again his usual self – the one she found especially easy to be around. He was sitting straight already, and she just sat beside him, making sure there was a little distance between them. The point of the whole action she couldn't figure out herself, especially given the fact that the previous two hours she'd spent in his embrace, with his hands on her face and her lips craving for the feeling of his skin. She didn't know whether it was to keep herself or Damon from giving in – or maybe both.<p>

"What shall we do next?" he asked, and Elena couldn't detect the usual equivocacy in his question.

It was still afternoon, about 6 o'clock, and she was partly afraid, partly thrilled to have him just to herself till the following morning. Elena forbade herself to go there – the proximity of Damon, the aftershock of their recent exploration of literature and everything else that had been going on could result in something she wasn't ready to face yet.

"Do you have suggestions?" she answered with a smile, making sure her voice was equally devoid of any innuendos.

"How about having a nice, _normal_ end of the day?"

Her smile grew wider.

"Normal is my definition of perfect"

* * *

><p>The sheer normalcy of their evening was something Elena decided she would hold on to whenever darker moments came. Damon insisted on ordering pizza, and they waited for the delivery, and then ate, and he had Elena giggling at the show of horror that he made, swearing that the pizza people ate in the United States had nothing to do with the real Italian stuff. She insisted on him teaching her how to make real pizza, and they ended up in the kitchen, the endless supply of the proper ingredients making Elena suspicious that he could've planned the entire cooking thing – not that she minded.<p>

When they were done, he fed her a piece of pizza, and she laughed, thinking of how sweet it felt to eat out of his hand in a very direct meaning of the words. They gossiped about funny stories that had happened to them within the last decade (in Elena's case) or century (in Damon's case, obviously), and she found herself telling him embarrassing things she'd thought she would never share with anyone. Being around Damon in his easy-going mode made her feel at ease – when he was with her, Elena could just forget about the whole doppelgänger-related problem and enjoy herself. It made her happy.

It made her want to feel this happy forever.

* * *

><p>It was getting late, and Elena couldn't help wondering how awkward it would be when it was time to go to bed. What were they going to say to each other? How was the entire scene supposed to look at all? How was that even explicable that she agreed to it in the first place? How was that possible that she was the one who'd started it?<p>

Damon came to her rescue as usual.

"You look tired. Maybe you should lie down?"

"I guess I'll go change first" Elena picked up her bag from the floor and headed upstairs. "I'll be in the bathroom, don't peep" she joked on the way.

"Tell me when you're ready so that I can pretend I didn't" she heard him say and it made her laugh. The light-hearted mood of the evening hadn't worn off yet, so his teasing didn't affect her as much as it could.

Taking her time in the bathroom, Elena didn't quite know how to react to the thrill she felt when she thought of the gorgeous man waiting for her, waiting in more than one meaning of the word. Not ready to slip out of her playful mood yet, just before returning to him, Elena washed her hands with cold water and strode into the room without wiping them.

"I was missing you" he said.

Damon was already lying on the bed, very shirtless, and his lips were curved in that impossible smirk she'd grown to adore. Already distracted, Elena found it hard to remember her original plan, and when she did, the grin that appeared on her face would do even him some credit.

She started slowly approaching the bed, eyes locked with his, and when she reached the edge and kneeled on her side, she shook her hands, sending a wave of cold drops over his face and naked chest.

It was a very rare occasion to see Damon Salvatore surprised.

"What are you, five?" he laughed, and in a moment she was flat on her back, his weight pressing her to the bed. Elena gasped when he leaned in, but instead of kissing her, he whispered in her ear:

"You should know better than to play around with a vampire"

She laughed and pushed him away, completely aware that if he weren't in an obedient mood, she would have succeeded not more than in moving a rock of the same size. Elena yawned, and then she felt Damon's arm pull her closer – she didn't hesitate to make herself comfortable on his shoulder. What happened next, she hadn't foreseen, and he hadn't either, she was certain.

As soon as her cheek touched the bare skin of his shoulder, Elena felt it all. The passion, the need, the love that was lurking in her heart overwhelmed her, sending a tingling sensation through her body. She had to give vent to everything she felt, or – Elena was sure – she would go insane.

Lifting her head, she planted a warm kiss on the shoulder she'd just rested on, resuming her previous position in a moment. She felt Damon hold his breath, but he remained silent.

That spur-of-the-moment action seemed to be the biggest mistake she'd ever made.

The craving for him grew stronger, silencing her voice of reason at once – kissing him proved to be a necessary condition for her to breathe, to feel alive. Elena was capable of resisting for mere seconds before she did it again, this time around without hesitating. Her lips inched upwards, laying a trail of kisses across Damon's shoulder – Elena was going slowly, taking her time and savoring every moment. She felt completely intoxicated with him, and couldn't help it – didn't want to help it.

Just as she reached the spot between his neck and shoulder that she would want to bite if their situation was reversed, she felt his arms, gentle but firm, push her away, and the next moment she found herself lying on his shoulder like before.

"Elena, don't" he groaned.

She'd pushed him away countless times, but until this moment, she'd never known how painful and strong the feeling of rejection could be. Her breathing was shallow and she drove away a childish idea of leaving his embrace and facing the opposite side of the bed.

In a minute she felt Damon sigh and kiss the top of her head.

"I know it's right" his voice sounded passionate, almost dangerous. "But you have so much to deal with at the moment… I don't want to be the reason of additional guilt, regret, or pain, even additional worrying. Why are you making it so incredibly hard for me to stay away from you, like it's easy on a regular day? Why do you have to make me lose my mind with all these touches?"

"I'm sorry" she whispered, unsure of what to do, or what to say. She was still trying to see the complicated big picture – how all of a sudden she'd become the one incapable of resisting the temptation and he – the reasonable one. Again Elena had to try to imagine what he was feeling, and again she couldn't even come close.

"I'm sorry" she repeated. "It was so selfish of me to put you through this… sleepover thing… knowing it's not enough for you"

"It's not enough for either of us" said Damon softly, and Elena couldn't argue with that.

"Maybe I should go to some other room?" she suggested. She felt his chest shake a little as he laughed an amused quiet laugh.

"No way you're going anywhere right now" he said and then sighed. "Ah, Elena… Do you have any idea at all how much I love you?"

Closing her eyes, she answered before drifting off:

"I think I do"

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Yeah, I know I'm evil ;) For those who wanted to read about a kiss: I just wanted it to happen after Elena tells Stefan. If my Internet provider doesn't make me wanna kill it, you can expect me to update the story tomorrow :) And of course, you know how I love reviews ;)**_


	6. Little Miss I'm on a Mission

**A/N: This chapter is sort of a transitioning one - I didn't plan this scene as a separate chapter at all, but then I looked at its size and decided I should probably upload this before my Internet does something really maddening :D**

Thanks a lot to TheLittleSwan, ayna93, kat, DBSKPirateKing, moi and Jade2099 for reviewing the previous chapter :) Special thanks to Karolina94 and Nymphadora for faithful reading and reviewing

**NB**: I'm sorry if you received story alert yesterday but couldn't find the new chapter. It was a site error, I guess, and I wasn't aware of it - **TheLittleSwan**, thank you so much for telling me!

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><p>Elena woke up to the sound of her phone from her bag. Without opening her eyes, she reached out to the floor and searched the pockets of the bag for half a minute before pulling out the phone and answering:<p>

"Hello"

"Hi, Elena" she heard Bonnie's concerned voice. "Sorry, I woke you up, eh?"

"Never mind" she yawned and stretched her arm across the bed to be hit with the realization: Damon wasn't there. She opened her eyes wide and searched the room, but he was nowhere in sight. Fully awake now, Elena didn't know if she had to be frightened, confused or pouty.

"Where are you?"

"In the bed, obviously" she laughed, eluding the uncomfortable question. "Why?"

"Sheriff called. She said she'd called you home but you wouldn't answer. She's got us a file on every single Abby Bennet in the country. It's gonna be a very very long day if we are gonna look through all of them"

"Okay… come over in half an hour or so, and we'll start" Elena couldn't but yawn again thinking of the hours of work that were waiting for them, but she knew it was necessary. Not only for opening the fourth coffin. It was important for Bonnie as well.

"Thanks"

"See you"

Elena hung up just as Damon walked into the room, fully dressed, and she suddenly felt embarrassed at the way she probably looked.

"Who dares wake you up right when I leave for a moment? You know, they robbed you of the wonderful prospect of waking up to this" Damon pointed at his own face looking extremely proud, and it made Elena laugh. "And what makes you think you must be home in half an hour?"

"Bonnie will come over so that we try to find out where her mom is"

"And that's what calls for your immediate presence?"

"Yes"

Damon muttered something unintelligible under his breath, and Elena could tell that wasn't even close to nice.

"Where did you disappear?" she asked to change the subject.

"To reheat the awesome pizza that we made yesterday, and to have some breakfast on my own"

Elena didn't need explanations to know what he meant.

"Pizza sounds good"

"It isn't supposed to sound good, it's supposed to taste good. And you know it does"

"I know" she laughed.

After having breakfast and taking a shower, she changed into the skirt and white tank top she'd brought and returned to the parlor. Damon was sitting on the couch, sipping black coffee and watching TV – or rather pretending to watch. She noticed that his eyes weren't moving at all, as if looking somewhere behind the screen.

Elena came up to the couch and sat down, right next to Damon. She was looking at him until he turned his full attention to her.

"I have to leave" she said, smiling just a little. She knew very well he would be difficult. Meeting Bonnie meant that, sooner or later, Stefan would be involved, and Elena wasn't sure about how the whole thing was supposed to work. It couldn't be easy for Damon, too.

"Okay, the witchy wants you home – you'll be there. Give me the keys"

Elena sighed.

"You don't need the keys"

"Why? Oh my, let me guess. You doubt my driving skills?" his mock offence barely disguised the annoyance that his eyes still showed. He hated being left out of things, and Elena could guess he wasn't thrilled about Stefan's part (actually, Stefan being the cause of it) – surely he wasn't so nervous about Bonnie.

"No, I don't" she smiled, trying to return his good mood. "Damon, if you drive, if you come home with me, it's going to be… weird"

"Weird how?" he asked sternly, and Elena felt this was the Damon she didn't really know how to deal with.

"Bonnie knew she woke me up. What conclusion is she going to arrive at?"

"That you spent the night with me, which is true"

"Damon, it's not that I regret… you know I don't" Elena thought she sounded as if anything major had happened. That reminded her she could have initiated something really major. "It's just Stefan can show up. And no matter what he has done, he doesn't deserve to have it thrown in his face like this"

The elephant in the room hidden behind that simple "it" had Elena praying that Damon wouldn't bring it up. He didn't.

"So it's all about Stefan… of course" he said, and she was hurt, empathizing with his feelings more than it was humanly possible.

"Damon, don't… please… don't be like this" she reached out and stroked his cheek, happy that he leaned into her touch. "I want to tell him. I will. I promise, I will"

"What will you tell him?" he asked, and Elena realized she had no idea what exactly she was going to say.

"I'll think of it"

"Elena…" Damon wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she didn't fight him off. "You were brave enough to sleep two nights in a row beside a deadly vampire who happens to be a man dreaming of you at the same time. I'd say you don't lack bravery for a difficult conversation with my little bro"

She had no idea how he could insert his confessions so matter-of-factly, making them sound perfectly natural.

"Are you sure it's just about him? Or do you want to keep me some kind of … dirty little secret of yours?" Damon spat out the words and Elena's felt some string in her heart twitch in pain. Why did he have to keep doing this?

"It's just that I don't want to hurt Stefan. I've never been one for revenge"

"Will you inform Bonnie officially as well?" he smirked, and she knew he was feeling better.

"I could tell her… I mean, not that I mind, just not sure when it's right to bring it up"

Elena was always suspicious when she saw that mischievous glint in Damon's eyes.

"See you" she smiled, grabbed her jacket and bag and was almost at the door when he was in her way, not really surprising her. He pouted in an adorable way, and Elena would want to laugh if it weren't for his eyes, delivering a very different message.

"Leaving me here, all alone…"

Suddenly his face became serious and he closed the distance between them, kissing her forehead – the action looked and felt so familiar it was nearly painful for Elena, because she couldn't understand why.

"Be in touch"

In a moment he was gone from the doorway.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: It might be confusing, so: in my "version" these two sleepovers happened after Bonnie told Elena about her mother and the coffins. I know it was the same day in the show, but after all, Sheriff is just a cop and not a wizard, so I don't "believe" her giving Elena and Bonnie information on that very day within an hour or so. Or maybe I underestimate American police, my apologies to the US citizens if so ;)**

**Anyway, I hope that despite the necessary-to-write nature of this chapter you did enjoy it, and that the scene gives sort of an alternative understanding why Damon gave away their kiss to Bonnie.**


	7. The Bond Is Broken

_**A/N: I never expected the chapter to turn out so long, but as I was writing all I had in mind, it turned out like this. Hopefully it's a good rather than bad thing :)**_

What you can expect from this chapter_**: Elena's conversation with Stefan with my view on what she felt (of course, taking into consideration the previous events of this story), Damon and Stefan's extended conversation (which is designed to express my attitude towards the brothers' relationship) and just a little Damon's pov at the end.**_

_**And this is the last but one chapter of this story :) **_

_Thanks a lot__** for faves and alerts, of course to those who reviewed chapter 6 so soon after it was uploaded: **_TheLittleSwan, Karolina94 and AnnemiekSalvatore_**. It is really inspiring to know someone out there waits for your update ;)**_

_Special thanks**: Anne0791 (her YT nickname) who kindly allowed me to use the title of her video for this chapter. This masterpiece has helped me a lot to write this chapter, be sure to check it out on YT at watch?v=D_x8v6HyW_E - or just search "The bond is broken [or why I can't support Defan]". Anne, danke ****schön :)**_

_**Sorry for the ridiculously long a/n :D**_

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><p><em><em>So far away I see the truth  
>I see through you<br>Now that I know the way you play  
>I don't want to<p>

Walking away I see the pain  
>You put me through<br>Lost in your game to change the same  
>Forever gone, forever you<p>

Evanescence, "Forever Gone, Forever You"

* * *

><p>Stefan was growling in pain, and already not for the first time in her life Elena felt scared by his side.<p>

"I'm just trying to help!" she said, wincing as well as she pulled another piece of wood out of his body.

"Just get it out, Elena, please. Just get it out" he said through gritted teeth, and she couldn't but sympathize with him. It was hard for her to see anyone suffering, not to mention the man she loved. She pressed her lips together, reminding herself he wasn't the man she used to love anymore. This was a different Stefan, someone she hardly knew. Someone she feared.

"Keep screaming, maybe I'll feel sorry for you" she winced again, finishing with that one wound.

They were silent for several seconds before Stefan spoke again.

"You've changed" he commented, looking at her with intensity. "Something is different about you. You're stronger. Tougher"

Elena didn't need explanations to see that he was right. For a moment she recalled herself several months ago – she used to be afraid of things, to seek protection, to give up easily. She'd been working a lot to become who she was.

"You're not the only one who changed, Stefan. We all had to"

She did mean all of them. Saying these words, Elena couldn't help thinking of Damon. She wondered: was it that he'd really changed or just he'd always been so good at hiding this human, humane, perfect side of his nature?

"It's good to know"

Thinking of Damon reminded her of their earlier conversation. Now she was alone with Stefan, he was hardly in the condition to harm her, nor did he seem to want to do anything stupid. Given the odds, this moment was as good as any, because there was never going to be a _really_ good moment for that.

But what was she supposed to say? Could she say "I've spent two nights in Damon's arms, because I'm happy when I'm with him"? Or maybe "Damon keeps saying he loves me, and I feel that his words reach the depths of my soul that I hadn't been aware of"? Or even "Yesterday I was about to attack Damon with a specific purpose, and hadn't he been a gentleman about it, I would be a cheater now"?

No. What they shared in the previous two nights was way too intimate. Nobody knew about it and nobody was going to learn. The only thing that she was ready to mention was their last kiss, which could very well qualify as their first real kiss as well. It would be fair, she decided. That was the moment when all she'd been holding on to was dismantled and then put back together to be forever different.

But if she told him Damon had kissed her, Stefan would first of all think it was all his brother's fault. He would think it'd been one-sided. Elena couldn't let him believe illusions – not in that case. After all the moves she'd made, the least she could do was take responsibility.

Taking a deep breath, she started.

"There's something I have to tell you. And it's not because I feel guilty that it happened…" – God knew she didn't – "… it's because I feel guilty that you don't know" Elena pulled out another piece of wood, harshly and mercilessly. After all, what she was about to do was not less harsh or less painful than wooden bullets, as she imagined it.

Stefan looked at her, attentive, wary, and she had to summon up all the courage she had to go on. "I kissed Damon" she said with another sigh, avoiding his eyes.

He was staring at her quietly, and in a while Elena looked at him questioningly. She wasn't sure her message was so astonishing as to render him speechless.

"There, all done" she said, checking his chest to make sure she hadn't missed anything.

Stefan rose to his feet, turned around, and left without saying another word. Elena was looking at his retreating form, and wondering if he could really have expected her to remain the same person he'd left with the same feelings for him. Her heart was full of forgiveness. Elena shook her head. She knew she would forgive Stefan for everything – even for nearly killing her. But what they used to have would never return. He would have no choice but to get over it.

* * *

><p><em>Stefan's POV<em>

I was indifferent to the house in front of me.

At some point of my life I considered it my home. I wanted to make happy memories here, I wanted to live a simple life. Human life. I wanted to have the girl I loved spend time with me here, to ignore the snarky comments of my troublesome brother and to breathe freely as if I needed breathing.

I was a delusional idiot.

Opening the front door, I saw my brother standing at the fireplace. He turned to me, and his face was the emotionless mask I knew so well. The humanity he'd gained was so clear on it, though, that I was sure my face was far less emotional than his – even though the rage burning in me after the conversation with Elena was still strong.

"You're still alive" I stated the obvious. "I assume that means Klaus didn't get his coffins"

"Don't look so happy. I was only able to get one of them out in time" answered Damon, walking towards me. I laughed mentally at the irony of his words. I looked anything but happy, and I'd hardly ever felt this furious. "The locked one" he clarified, offering his most fake smile.

"Probably a good choice" my smile was just as fake.

"Yeah… You know, if you're backing on Bonnie's mom to open it, you've screwed. She doesn't have any power" his regret seemed to sound sincere. Only I knew better than to trust Damon's sincerity.

"Yeeah" my gaze was cold as I scanned the room, feeling something weird in the air. Something different about it. "It's been that kind of night" I said, turning around. Damon couldn't know what Elena'd told me, but he didn't need to. It was his fault – the hell I'd gone through after giving myself to Klaus to save my brother. I had to refuse to think even of Elena for his sake – and that's what I got in return? I knew Damon too well. He was sly, he was dangerous – I should have never trusted him in the first place. It was just like him – to come and try to lay his claim on what was mine.

The truth was, I was never going to yield. I had never given up what belonged to me.

"Is Elena okay?" he asked, sounding concerned.

Was he doing it on purpose? Did he know exactly what to say to torment me? How could he even dare to pronounce her name – in that loving, protective way, as if reminding me of what they'd become in my absence? Behind my back.

I breathed in and then it clicked. Elena's scent. She had been in that room very recently.

I didn't have enough power to ask why.

Turning around in a sharp movement, I punched his face – the face of the man that had stolen the only thing I had to hold on to, ruining both her and himself for me.

Damon nearly bent to the floor and groaned in pain – he had expected neither the punch, nor the strength behind it. He'd clearly forgotten he wasn't the stronger brother anymore. I felt deep cold satisfaction, even knowing the punch couldn't express the hatred and rage controlling me at the moment. A weak voice in my head was telling me he wasn't guilty at all. I shut it out.

"I take it you two had heart-to-heart" Damon was still in pain, the palm of his left hand pressed to his cheek. Groaning again, he drew himself up, looking at me with a weird expression – mixed contempt, offence, mockery and an emotion so well disguised that it was easy to ignore – pity. "And I take you don't wanna talk about it… Noted" he said, looking me in the eye.

Then he reached behind his back and demonstrated me a very familiar looking dagger.

"So why don't we talk about this?"

"What did you do?" I asked, feeling an unpleasant chill down my spine as Damon started toying with the dagger.

"Guess"

"I'm not gonna play games with you, Damon"

"You started the playing" he answered, and I knew his daring look too well to snap. That's what he expected me to do now.

"You undaggered Elijah" I said quietly, cursing him already because I knew it was the truth. Only Damon could so something so incredibly idiotic.

"Thumbs up, you win the lottery" he said in his best sarcastic tone.

"You know you've just signed our death sentence, right?" I was staring at him, my eyes unblinking. After all, it wasn't just Katherine that could make my brother do stupidities, I thought as he hid the dagger.

"You know what?" he said camly, never averting his eyes, "_**I **_don't want to talk about it. It's not like I have to report to you about my decisions. About any decisions"

"You bastard" I hissed with disgust.

"You want to blame me? Go ahead. Hit me again if it makes you happier. But you know what? You should blame yourself"

I felt I was shaking: the blatant injustice of his words struck me, but not so much as the weak voice in my head telling me he was right. I kept shutting it out, but it was growing stronger with every word Damon spoke.

"I know you left her to save me. You could've let me die, return to your girlfriend, feel sorry for me for a couple of days and have your happy pseudo-human life you've always wanted so much. Everything would've been so much easier if you'd just let me die. Do you regret it now?"

"It was a right thing to do" I said, careful not to let the awful human pain show on my face.

"Thank you" he said, and suddenly the pity in his eyes was hard to ignore. "You are a good savior, Stefan. And a very bad brother"

He dared accuse me now?

"You've stolen her!" I shouted, not caring anymore whether it was a human or not thing to do. "You've been working on her – carefully, methodically – all this time. All your friendly bonding, all your secrets together and that goddamn understanding that she always showed. You were always forgiven, Damon! Whatever you did, she accepted you back!"

"Oh really?" he was also shouting already, and I had to fight the urge to hit him again. "You had your human blood breakdown for several days – she had me saving you! You showed no caring, no interest, no famous love of yours for months – and she's never given up on you. I can bet she's already forgiven you for the Wickery Bridge"

I said nothing.

"You must remember something, Stefan. You aren't a saint. I know you tried, and tried hard, but the halo doesn't hang over the heads of our kind. You lied to everyone around you. You've lied to yourself. But you know what's the worst thing? You've lied to Elena"

"As if you hadn't"

"Never" he paused and then added. "I do love her"

I didn't have enough time to process what he said, because the anger made me answer:

"I don't care if you love her or not! You know what your real problem is? Nobody ever chose you. In the end, she'll stay with me. She is mine, she belongs to me, and she knows it"

Before I knew it, his fist collided with my face, sending me flying across the parlor.

"Don't you ever speak of Elena like she's a thing" he growled, and his eyes clearly showed how much he wanted to rip my heart out of my chest. The irritating voice in my head told me it was justified.

His phone rang in his pocket, and Damon answered, while I was standing up.

"Hello"

The love that sounded in that one word was all it took me to know who it was.

"I need you here" was all she said before she hung up.

I watched Damon blankly – he put the phone back in his pocket, picked up his jacket from the armchair and put it on.

"You know what, Stefan" he said, passing me by on his way to the front door, "Sometimes you have only yourself to blame. It hurts to realize it, but it's true. Get over it"

With those words, he walked out of the door and closed it.

* * *

><p><em>Damon's POV<em>

I've always tried to understand Stefan. Despite the eternity of misery I'd once promised him, he was my brother. I cared about him, no matter what he did, and I knew he felt the same way.

One thing I couldn't forgive him. He thought he could make _her_ decisions. He thought she would do whatever _he_ needed her to do.

I wasn't going to do anything about him – the punch was impressive enough, I figured. I decided to do a different, much more dangerous thing. It wasn't about revenge in the first place – it was just that after his words my conscience was clear. And after the infamous conversation, so was hers.

I wasn't going to stop Elena anymore.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: If you've read this whole long thing with no obvious Delena, you're heroes ;) Let me know what you think and thanks a lot for reading! If my oh-so-obedient Internet**_ _**behaves, the next chapter will be up tomorrow ;)**_


	8. Their Hearts' Home

_**A/N: Okay, guys, here comes the last chapter :) It's special to me in several ways. First of all, this is me finishing the first really multichapter fic I've ever written. Secondly, I've never had so many reviews and faves and alerts - thanks for that so much! - so I felt the responsibility to make it nice. Lastly, it turned out to be quite difficult to write from Elena's POV - don't know why, it's far easier for me to relate to Damon than her. In any case, given the things they shared in my story, I hope I kept her in-character enough.**_

_**Oh, and almost forgot my ultimate goal to upload this chapter before 3x13 :D**_

_**As usual, my gratitude goes to the reviewers: Nymphadora (who is an amazing writer herself, check out her stories!), Marina164509 and vampssaywhat. **_

_**I know the song is widely used in general, but it's very special for me - the first scene of TVD I've watched was the dance in Miss Mystic Falls uploaded on YT via the band's official channel. **  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>All my agony fades away when you hold me in your embrace...<em>

_Don't tear me down - for all I need:_

_Make my heart a better place, _

_Give me something I can believe._

_... You've opened that door now - don't let it close._

_Within Temptation, "All I Need"_

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><p><em>Alaric's POV<em>

A knock on the door irritated me. I had a lot of things to think over, and didn't really want to see anyone – nor did Elena, I was sure. Walking to see who it was, I already heard the tapping of her feet as she was running downstairs. I opened the door, not sure whether to invite the person I saw.

The fact that I had told Elena to figure everything out on her own didn't mean I was going to trust Damon with her feelings immediately… Only it didn't matter, because he looked at me for a brief moment and then strode past me, like I was nothing but an article of furniture.

Elena was already in the room and she ran towards him only to be caught in the circle of his arms several moments later. She was clinging to him for dear life, and I could see her face as she put her chin on his shoulder – eyes closed, expression worried, but a happy smile had already found its way to Elena's face. She whispered something to him, and if I got her articulation right, that was "You're here". He held her tighter, and judging by the movement of his arm, he was stroking her back.

I left the room, smiling to Damon on my way when he could see me. Now I was sure Elena knew what she was doing.

* * *

><p><em>Elena's POV<em>

Nothing mattered at that moment – not anymore. Not Alaric, observing us from the doorway, not Klaus, threatening to kill those I cared about, not even Stefan, my Stefan, the man who'd done everything to drain drop by drop my love for him – something I had hardly ever doubted.

We walked upstairs together, his arm around my waist, and it felt right – just as I'd expected. As selfish as it was, I wasn't ready – and wasn't ever going to be ready – to let him go.

Once in my room, I sat down on the bed, leaning against the headboard, and he went to the other side of it, shedding his leather jacket on the way.

"Are you okay?" he asked the question that could have lost all its meaning if anyone else kept asking it equally often as he kicked off his shoes and made himself comfortable beside me.

"Now yes" I answered, closing my eyes and letting myself relax. Afer several minutes of silence I smiled and spoke: "You know… when I met you for the first time, I believed you were handsome and charming"

"I am" he answered, and not even looking I could still feel his smirk.

"Then I thought you were a clown… and sometimes you behaved like a jerk, so I considered you one" I informed him and he laughed, not even trying to disagree.

"And later?"

"Later I decided you were a monster" I whispered, opening my eyes again and looking at him. In the dim light in my room I could still make out his features – enough to feel save, far from enough to satisfy my gaze.

"I am" he said again, in the same caring tone.

"No" I shook my head and shifted closer to him. "That's who you were. You aren't anymore"

"If that's what you'd like to believe…"

"Damon!" I grabbed his hand with both mine and kissed his knuckles. I wanted to remind him of who he was for me. "Don't doubt yourself. Please"

He shifted so that our eyes were on the same level and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me.

"Who was I after a monster period?" he freed his hand from mine and started caressing every finger, making it very hard for me to concentrate.

"My savior" I said passionately, and when he looked confused, I reminded him – "Miss Mystic Falls". He said nothing, and I went on. "You have no idea how much everything you did meant to me. How you saved me from public humiliation, how you saved Stefan for me, how you saved my sanity when I stayed in the basement"

I noticed him cringe when I mentioned his brother.

"Have you seen Stefan?" I asked.

"But I didn't remain your savior for long, did I?" Damon smiled that especially bitter smile he kept for dramatic moments, ignoring my question. I recalled what had happened in that very room long ago – his hands on my face, his gaze hurt and more dangerous than ever, his lips on mine, and the taste that I was craving at the moment was then obscured by the insane amount of alcohol he'd drunk that night. And then his harsh words, ruthless moves – and my brother was breathless on the floor.

"Why are you trying to push me away?" I asked, feeling unwelcome tears fill my eyes despite all the effort I'd put into fighting them.

"Because in the end you'll stay with Stefan" he said absently, looking anywhere but at me.

I wanted to yell at him, to explain how insane he sounded, to get offended at his lack of trust – instead, I just continued reminiscing.

"Then you became my friend… And I swear, nobody's ever had or will ever have an awesome friend… like you"

He was looking at me now, but still incredulous. The half-smirk that he always used to hide his emotions was there.

"I'm happy you value my friendship, Elena. You know how I value yours"

"Do you know why it's so important and so wonderful that we were friends?" I asked, and he winced but still replied.

"Why?"

"Because no matter what my feelings were like for anyone else, or even for you, you were always here" I caught his hand and pressed it to my chest where he would feel the heartbeat – and it didn't matter he could hear it anyway. "You are always here"

Perhaps, a couple of days ago I wouldn't have said such a thing. I didn't care about what old Elena considered right or wrong. This new me always _felt_ it – and I enjoyed being for once completely honest with myself.

* * *

><p><em>Damon's POV<em>

"I'm not a good person, Elena" I said quietly, still feeling her uneven heartbeat beneath my hand.

"Right" she answered, and I stiffened. To be honest, I'd expected her to disagree. "You're not a good person" she went on. "You're a wonderful, incredible person. Behind all this doom and gloom, as you put it, you make me laugh. You sacrifice your feelings and even your life for me to be happy"

"What's the point of my life if you aren't happy?" I looked at Elena, surprised. Did she really understand so little of what she truly did to me?

"You deserve your happiness as well" she said matter-of-factly, like it was some commonly known fact.

"So does my brother, as much as I don't want to admit it" I sighed. "And it happens that we can't be happy at the same time"

"Maybe I happen to be the one who gets to decide?" she asked quietly, and I was afraid to distinguish intonations in her voice. It was so weird that after two nights we spent together I was hesitant now. Stefan always knew exactly what to tell me to hurt me more than it seemed possible.

"I guess so" I answered, resuming my previous activity – caressing Elena's delicate hand.

"Why are you like this tonight?" she asked, proving for the umpteenth time she had some insane ability to read my mind. Without waiting for me to answer, she looked at me even more intensely and put another question to me "What did he say, Damon?"

"Nothing that I didn't already know" I tried to escape.

"I told him I'd kissed you" she said, and my eyes widened in surprise involuntarily.

"You've stolen my initiative!" I joked pretending to be deeply hurt, and she smiled:

"I feel like I've earned that"

Elena shifted still closer, until our legs and hips were brushing.

"He wasn't happy about it, I dare say" she laughed a joyless laugh.

"Yeah, his fist made his point pretty clearly" I scoffed.

"What? He hit you?" she looked at me with her big chocolate eyes and I felt… embarrassed a little.

"Yep" I rubbed my jaw and cheek involuntarily with my free hand.

* * *

><p><em>Elena's POV<em>

I wasn't sure why my subconsciousness reacted that way, but I reached out and replaced his hand with mine, touching the smooth skin of his face. I wasn't certain if he was in the right mood after his obviously uneasy conversation with Stefan, but I looked him in the eye, and the wave of love and desire waiting for me there was so powerful I didn't have the strength to hold back.

My lips soon followed the trail my hand had just made – his cheek, his jaw, the corner of his mouth – and then I felt his arms on my waist, pulling me closer, and I found his lips with mine.

I'd believed that I remembered our first real kiss very well – the touch, the taste, the sensation. Now the kiss wasn't at all like the perfection I remembered. It was better.

This kiss was about passion and emotion, about two people that waited for way too long to be allowed to slake the thirst for each other. My lips parted when I gasped at the familiar sensation of Damon's lips against mine, and he took it as a sign to go further. We explored each other, testing boundaries and failing to find any, my hands were disheveling his hair and his arms encircled me, his cool palms sending chills up my spine.

I had to break the kiss first, because as desperate as I was to prove the opposite, I needed air. His hands left my back and were now on my face.

We both wanted more, but I already knew I wasn't completely ready yet. It was frustrating, but at least there was another step on the long road of the very new, but already strong notion of "us". As long as he was there for me, I had a reason to wake up.

I looked at Damon with affection and he read it all in my eyes – we never needed words to communicate.

"Don't leave" I whispered, intertwining our fingers. Somehow we were already lying, and I had to wiggle a bit to get a comforter from under my body and wrap it around us both.

"You know I won't" he kissed my neck.

"Actually, I meant, at all"

He looked at me, confused.

"I want to wake up to you every morning" I'd said so much that night that another confession wouldn't be so shocking.

* * *

><p><em>Damon's POV<em>

I felt my vampire heart twitch at Elena's words. In the decades of my existence nobody had ever told me anything more beautiful.

"I'll be here as long as you want me here"

Closing her eyes and settling her head on my shoulder – something already so usual but no less amazing – she answered:

"Forever"

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Thanks so much to everyone who's "been with me" throughout this enjoyable writing experience. Whether you are a constant reviewer or you just started reading the story, or you read it before - please, let me know what you think! :) It's especially important after the story's finished. Thank you!**_


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